I started noticing at about 4 months that he didnt really lift his head very well in tummy time, by 6 months he was not rolling or even scooting, in fact he did not roll until nearly 10 months old. Sitting took him until nearly 10 months. He did not crawl until after a year and when he did it was a strange looking crawl/scoot thing. Finally at 18 months I took him into the pediatrician because he was not walking. Every milestone was late, I was constantly concerned. This was only made more apparent because my friends all had babies within 4 weeks, I promise this was a coincidence, we actually didn't even know the others were pregnant until after they had delivered. We had all known each other in our late teens and met up at random birthing classes. One boy was actually born the same day, same hospital, next door, by the same doctor only 30 minutes after Carson. These girls and I would get together EVERY week, so as our children grew and their kids hit milestones it was painfully obvious to me that something just was not right. It broke my heart when they began to roll, sit, scoot, crawl and walk, every time we were together it was like ripping my heart out. (from left) Ian, Carson, Boston, Jaylee. 
My concerns were often easily explained away, you see at 2 weeks he had his first ear infection, by 6 months his first set of tubes. A new set of tubes every six months since then. All these motor skills took balance and when a child has so many inner ear problems, balance just does not come easy. So that is what I held to, it was his ears, right?
Then he had something terrible happen, just 2 weeks after his second birthday Carson pulled a vase off our end table that had money inside. It shattered on his hand and severed the tendons, ligaments and nerves in his left pointer finger. He had plastic surgery followed by 9 weeks in a full cast that covered his fingers and went up to his armpit. This event became the second thing that was used to excuse some of his struggles.
He struggled with self feeding with utensils and doing things like throwing and catching a ball. Things that required both hands, it was easy to explain why those would be a struggle after something like that happened, but to me there was another question, why is he having such a hard time all the time??? Things continued through that winter with no real change.
That spring something reared its ugly head! A sudden change in Carson, he developed anxiety and fear at things that had previously been nothing to him. One example, we live by an air force base, jets are a normal thing. Suddenly even the sound of a plane would send him into a fit, he wouldn't be outside because a plane might come. The thought of bugs brought anxiety and fear. He couldn't tolerate even seeing or hearing a bug without a meltdown. I watched him struggle day in and day out with every day little things that I couldn't understand. I watched the children around him enjoying life while life for him was so difficult, my heart was breaking for him. We went to a psychologist who tried working with us but nothing really changed. While swimming one day the group of kids I mentioned earlier something strange happened, it stuck out in my mind as odd. All the kids ran up a hill, they all ran down, except Carson, he stood at the top screaming at the top of his lungs, frozen in fear. He couldn't even run down a hill, finally I got him to scoot down on his bum. People often told me not to worry, he would grow out of it, that everything was fine. He didn't though, things didn't get better. He starting chewing his blanket to the point it was disintigrating. I had no idea what to do. But once again there was an "explanation" Carsons injury was very traumatic, it was believed he developed anxiety due to all the trauma of the injury, surgery, and other surgeries he had endured. Deep down inside I knew there was something else.
School was a place where we met a little girl who would plant a seed, I noticed from the beginning her and Carson shared a lot of the same mannerisms. For example at the Christmas show all the other kids were singing and performing, Carson and this girl were chewing their fingers. They shared the fear, the anxiety. I finally felt like there was someone who understood. When her mother and I spoke I felt like I was not alone. When this girl was diagnosed with SPD I ran to my pediatrician. I explained the symptoms, the fears, the anxiety and one key component. "He cant do puzzles" Not even the most simple block cutout puzzles, he cant do them and he was almost 4. I was reassured all was fine and he would get better.
Finally my husband and I just instated our own treatment. We just made him do things, we pushed him through his anxiety, his fear. We started tumbling to help him gain confidence and awareness of his body. We bought season passes to the local them park and carried him on rides kicking and screaming. We endured the glaring judgmental stares of others. We bought books about bugs and read them constantly. We decided we would just desensitize him to his fears. One by one we faced them and one by one we made progress. He loved the amusement park. Although new rides brought anxiety, once we got him on he would love them, our motto "if you don't like you don't have to go again, but, you have to try". He was very very afraid of swimming, clinging to me or my husband for life so we put him in swimming lessons, he screamed the whole first session. We took him back, over and over, repeating the class, until he was not so scared. I told him he did not have to like it but he had to do it. He loves to swim now and is improving each time we go, he only needs floaties to keep him up! Now don't get me wrong we were not mean or horrible but we knew we had no other choice, we were kind, reassuring, but firm. We could let him live in fear or not live because it was not really letting him live or we could push him past it. So we pushed and the things we were doing were working!
Through this time, over 1 year, I continued to notice things that seemed off, he was clumsy, uncoordinated. He loved movement but often stumbled or fumbled. He uses his scissors wrong no matter how many times I tried to fix it, he cannot cut for the life of him. I mean literally holding his hand upside down to cut. Things that are so easy for kids his age like building with blocks just cause him to get frustrated. His writing and coloring were not improving regardless of the preschool and practice, things just seemed hard for him. He is extremely intolerant of things, like he lacks the coping skills to deal with the most minor situations. He is constantly running, climbing and jumping, going non-stop, but will suddenly find himself frozen and screaming that he doesn't know how to climb down from a playground. I often say he is a really good kid who is just having a hard time with something. Now at 4 and a half I realized, he would start Kindergarten this year and he is not ready. There is no way I can send him off knowing how much he struggles. I have known from day 1 there was something wrong, and I am going to find out what and get him help, he deserves it, he deserves to start school with the skills he needs, not playing catch up. So I started again to look for answers. Finally I got someone to listen to me.
There are many many other alarms that rang, it is hard to include everything, the most alarming thing was my overwhelming feeling, something is not right.
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